One of the 4 components of marriage context is financial– this is a couple’s financial situation as well as their financial styles, skills, and outlook. Understanding your partner’s viewpoint of finances will assist you in empathetically approaching money topics to avoid arguments. A healthy “money talk” will help curtail conflict.

money style

Research shows that more often than not, we marry our financial opposite. That means a “saver” and a “spender” are likely to end up together. When these two styles clash, it’s about bending to find a middle ground. 

budget skills

You may have learned what you saw your parent(s) do when it comes to handling finances, however, it is never too late to learn how to budget and there are endless resources out there to aid. Perhaps you and your partner go about budgeting differently, this is common. Discussing and agreeing on how you’d like to budget together will set you up for less financial friction.

financial fears

Money often represents power and control in a marriage relationship. Therefore the more a couple agrees on their financial approach, the more likely they are to feel respected by one another. Too often, financial fears remain unspoken for most couples. The four fears are: 

• Lack of Influence: not having a say in their financial approach
• Loss of Security: not having enough to live on or enough for emergencies
• Lack of Respect: not receiving respect from their partner on finances
• Not Realizing Dreams: not being able to do what they want in the future

debt

Knowing what kind of financial debt each person is carrying into the relationship is vital. A surprising number of people discover massive amounts of school debt or credit card debt only after they marry. This obviously creates friction because the other partner feels duped, asking: “Wonder what else they are hiding from me?”. Create open space for your partner to discuss debts of any kind, and their plan for getting out from under it. Withhold judgment and be supportive of the steps they are taking to financial freedom.

money talks

A great starting point to begin financial conversation is hearing how your partner grew up seeing money handled in their household. From there, here are a few questions worth discussing:

• When I think about our financial future … 
• What you may not know about money and me is …
• When it comes to money, I’d like to improve my … 

In conclusion, engaged couples ought to open up financial dialects. You can maintain an open and positive demeanor while discovering each other’s financial situation, financial styles, budgeting skills, and outlook. I’d love for you to head into marriage with confidence and learn something you didn’t know about your partner that will make you bond deeper! >>> Take The Award-Winning Marriage Assessment <<<

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*content of this blog post was adapted wording from SYMBIS creators Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott. | Angeli Hughes is a certified facilitator for SYMBIS

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